10 Phrases to Build Better Communication

Communication is the key to successful relationships, both personally and professionally. However, it’s easy for misunderstandings, unspoken expectations, or frustration to build up when communication isn’t clear. Whether you're managing a team, having a tough conversation with a loved one, or simply trying to get on the same page with a colleague, these 10 phrases can make all the difference.

Help Me Understand Your Perspective

One of the quickest ways to diffuse tension in a conversation is to show curiosity about the other person’s viewpoint. Saying, “Help me understand your perspective,” opens the door for them to share how they see things without feeling judged. This phrase demonstrates respect and a genuine interest in their thoughts.

How Can I Better Communicate With You?

Everyone has a preferred way of receiving information. Some people value directness, while others need more context or time to process. Asking, “How can I better communicate with you?” shows a willingness to adapt your communication style to fit the other person’s needs. This flexibility strengthens relationships and reduces potential misunderstandings.

How Can We Find Common Ground or a Way to Move Forward?

When conversations hit a roadblock, it’s important to shift the focus toward resolution. By asking, “How can we find common ground or a way to move forward?” you encourage both parties to seek a solution rather than dwell on disagreements. This phrase transforms a standoff into a partnership, where the goal is progress, not being right.

What are your expectations?

Unmet expectations are often the root cause of resentment and conflict. It’s easy to assume that others know what we need or expect, but that’s rarely the case. By stating, “Unspoken expectations are a set up for resentment,” you remind yourself and others that clear communication is vital for a healthy relationship. This phrase encourages open dialogue about needs and boundaries.

What Is Your Motive Behind This Decision?

Understanding the reasoning behind someone’s choices can eliminate a lot of confusion and frustration. Asking, “What is your motive behind this decision?” gets to the heart of their thought process. It shows that you’re not only interested in what they’ve decided but also in why they made that choice. This deeper understanding can lead to more empathy and a stronger connection​.

Are We Communicating Effectively Right Now?

Sometimes, even the best intentions can be lost in translation. By asking, “Are we communicating effectively right now?” you check in on how the conversation is going. This question allows for mid-course corrections, ensuring that both parties are truly listening and understanding each other​.

What Do You Need From Me Right Now?

This phrase is a powerful way to show support and care for the other person’s immediate needs. “What do you need from me right now?” offers help in a way that lets them define what kind of support would be most beneficial. It’s an invitation for them to express their needs openly, and it shifts the conversation toward practical solutions.

I’m Listening, and I Want to Continue to Understand You Better

Active listening is one of the most important skills in communication. Saying, “I’m listening, and I want to understand you better,” demonstrates that you are fully engaged in the conversation. It reassures the other person that their words matter and that you’re committed to truly hearing them. This phrase fosters trust and encourages deeper connections.

I’d Like to Make Sure I Understand. Can I Repeat Back What I Heard?

Sometimes, we think we understand someone, but our interpretation of their words may differ from their intent. By saying, “I’d like to make sure I understand. Can I repeat what I heard?” you give yourself a chance to verify your understanding. This shows respect for their message and avoids potential miscommunication, leading to smoother interactions.

Let’s Take a Step Back and See What’s Most Important Here

When conversations become heated or sidetracked, it’s important to refocus. Saying, “Let’s take a step back and see what’s most important here,” encourages both parties to return to the main issue. This phrase helps de-escalate tension and keeps the conversation aligned with the original goal. It also reminds everyone to prioritize solutions over personal feelings.

Conclusion

Transforming your communication begins with small changes in how you approach conversations. These 10 phrases can help you navigate difficult discussions, reduce conflict, and foster stronger connections with the people around you. Remember, communication is not just about speaking—it’s about listening, understanding, and finding a way forward together.

By using these phrases regularly, you’ll encourage clarity, empathy, and respect in your interactions, whether at work, at home, or in your community.

Nicole Poolman