Grey

We hear it all the time, “That’s a gray area for me,” “Life is not black and white,” or “That’s in the gray zone.” Ironically, Even the spelling of gray falls into what is culturally appropriate. 

I find that our culture has become gray in a lot of areas that it should not be, and black in white in a lot of areas that are actually gray.  After reading a very polarizing article this week, I was infuriated. Not because I didn’t agree with the article, but because it wasn’t holding the truth in tension. Our world is so uncomfortable with mystery that we exercise control so that the narrative fits our agenda. 

Let me be clear. I am not talking about the Gospel being a gray area. Jesus is the only way to the Father. It is ONLY by His death and resurrection that we have experience relationship with God and life in Him. I am also not justifying sin by calling it gray.  Sin is sin. It separates us from God and demands the sacrifice of Jesus.

The unknown a good thing. It keeps us humble. While there is one truth, we are not going to know it all the time. Especially when it comes to situations that involve other humans. I have heard it said many times from my pastor, “We are at our dumbest when we believe we know the motivations of another person’s heart.” Pride, offense and control create polarizing views and an us-verse-them mentality. 

When we enter into conversations with pride or arrogance, the goal of conversation becomes being correct. The best possible outcome is that we are found to be in the majority, or that we avoid being perceived as weak. Conversations filled with pride will not sway another individual from a polarized view, and those holding truth in tension will see right through a person filled with pride. 

Offense is empowered because we feel entitled. Perhaps entitled by our pride, more likely by our pain. We can allow pain to grow compassion, without letting it fester into offense. Adding offense to our hurt is not going to ease the pain. In fact, offense aggravates the pain. Giving up our offense, does not mean giving up on our beliefs. Even our strong ones. Surrendering our offense simply allows others to enter the conversation with their stories. 

Finally, we are often more comfortable with control than the unchartered waters of the unknown. Control makes the conversation about being right, rather than understanding. Offense, pride, rage, fear, and stress all become road signs pointing to control. Control leaves no room for questions. Mature teachers are those that give us the tools to become lifelong learners, not teach us opinions. 

It is humility that sets the tone of our heart.  It opens the door to more conversations. We need to invite people to the table and ask, “Why?” Not so that we can have more ammo for our argument, but so that we can truly walk in humbleness. We need brave people to say, “I don’t know,” and “I hadn’t thought about that.” 

I write a lot about my faith, and I believe that there are mysteries in the Christian faith. Lots of them.  As a result, we are one of the most divided religions.  It is one of the things that grieves me most about the world today. What would happen if we were more okay with mystery? If we learned to ask questions rather than be right? I am happy to not have all the answers. It is the result of being in relationship with an unfathomable God.

However, I don’t want to limit this conversation to theology. We need to be taking our questions into conversations around politics, white privilege, public figures, medicine, stereotypes of specific generations, and more. These areas need our humility as well.

I will leave you with this. Truth without grace is condemning. Grace without truth is enabling. Truth with grace is world changing…and found perfectly only at the cross.