The Lie of Leadership

The Lie of Leadership

Fifteen years ago I entered the world of vocational ministry. I have two degrees, two additional years of ministry school, 6 certificates. I have been on church staff, camp staff, and other ministry staff. Since High School I have been celebrated as a leader, even a spiritual leader. I understand why the term leader and leadership development can be helpful, but in the last couple of years I have experienced a great undoing of how I have perceive leadership.

Five years ago, I acknowledged ten years in ministry by writing a blog post about leadership. Ten years felt like something substantial, like others could or would take me seriously now. I felt like I deserved a girl scouts badge. I put in the time, I did it, I should be seen as an expert. This is part of the problem with how leadership has been defined and used in the Church.

Today, I am acutely aware of how little I know and how little all those achievements mean. Part of my call is to lead large groups of people, I acknowledge that. However, the moments that have changed me or others have had so little to do with me. They were conversations sitting on a cabin porch after a week of camp. They were crying with someone as they experienced grief. They were and are the raw and messy moments of deep relationship. These were not taught to me in my degrees, they did not come from certificates. They certainly did not happen on a literal or social media stage.

If fifteen years of ministry has taught me anything it is that leadership (and ministry) isn’t about truth bombs and pithy quotes. It’s about the times and spaces that we allow Holy Spirit to invade our profoundly human experiences with other people. On stage I can inspire someone for a 30 minutes or a day. At best they leave inspired for a couple of weeks. In relationship we can pursue Jesus together and both be transformed.

This is the way of Jesus. Yes, He had His moments of speaking to the crowds. He had His followers, He literally was (and is) Truth, and spoke in such a way that propounded the religious leaders of His day. However, it was all for the sake of relationship with you, with me.  I really believe that there is an invitation from God back to an ancient way of doing leadership, and it is a way of relationship. It’s an Acts 2 model where people are doing life together and as they do people are becoming saved and sanctified.

There will always be leaders and teachers but they are there to serve the communities of believers. I am even a strong promote of the local church, but again they are a resource for these smaller communities. This is distinctly different than our traditional small group church model because it goes beyond the walls of a church and into the community and cities in which we live.

So am I leader? Yes. Am I leader who does ministry? Yes. Will I continue to be on stages? Probably. But do I believe that this is the most restorative way to transform communities? Far from it.