A Kindred Spirit
“Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.”
1 Chronicles 4:9-10
I suppose I always thought I could change the world, or at least my world. Even from a young age I dreamed about being able to help others. I don’t know if I knew the words, but I was desperate to make an impact. The only lasting way I knew how was through the Kingdom. Through centuries, persecution and deadly division the church has lasted. That was the kind of impact I wanted to have. One that lasted for centuries. I have never cared much if my name was attached to it. I just wanted to know that I did it. That I made a difference. That generations to come would have a different experience because I was here.
Of course, I didn’t have the words for all that was bubbling up in me at that young age.
I was in middle school when I read The Prayer of Jabez for Teens, By Bruce Wilkinson. Wilkinson writes about how in 1 Chronicles 4 we find one of those “boring” genealogy lists. (You know the ones you normally skip over to get ahead on your Bible reading plan…just me?) Well, in the middle of this list the author pauses to acknowledge one man’s prayer. Then the list continues like nothing ever happened.
Wilkinson encouraged his reader to pray that same life changing prayer. Being over achiever, I did. For years. “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.”
For years I prayed a prayer, for my territory to be enlarged. Jabez’s prayer was not just about having more fields to plow, it was about having influence. It was about making an impact. Little Nicole’s heart came alive. She had found a kindred spirit in Jabez.
Jabez wasn’t set up to have influence. Quite the opposite. In fact, 1 Chronicles 4:9 explains, “His mother had named him Jabez, saying, ‘I gave birth to him in pain.’” In other words, she named the kid “pain.” Every time he introduced himself, it would have been a reminder of the pain he caused. Every time someone met him, they would know his shame. Pain.
Jabez’s earthly inheritance should have been pain. However, Jabez cried out for a spiritual inheritance. That despite what the world gave him, he would be known as someone who was free from pain. That despite what the world gave him, he would be known for honorable influence. That despite what the world gave him, he would be known for God’s faithfulness and protection in his life…and the Lord granted his request.
When it comes to our dreams, we might have been given an earthly inheritance that says we can’t pursue our dreams or that we “should be” known by something else. However, that’s not heaven’s perspective. Through the death and resurrection, we have become co-heirs with Him. Which means, we help bring manifest the reward of His suffering. His inheritance. We help tell the world of the saving grace of Jesus Christ that leads to eternal relationship with Him.
When I started praying this prayer as a (very awkward) middle schooler, I thought I was praying for impact in my school and my friends. When I thought of generations being impacted it was that my future family might have even more passion and connection to God then I did.
I now have the honor of serving as a leader in a national organization. Every day I get to help train and equip people around the nation. Even as I type that I am (almost) in disbelief. One night in my journaling I started processing my new role and all the relationships I was building. I felt humbled and honored to know so many like-minded people across the country. Then I was reminded of this prayer I diligently prayed 20 years ago.
I believe the seeds of this prayer and God’s faithful work in my life has blossomed into something beautiful.
To all my fellow dreamers, this prayer is for you too.