Disappointment

 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life,” I remember exactly where I was sitting when I really heard Proverbs 13:12 for the first time. There was a sting to the truth that pierced something in my soul. In a moment I knew what had led me to the despair I was feeling.  My heart was sick. I didn’t have hope. 

Disappointment.  

How we deal with it matters.

 Disappointment is something we will all face this side of eternity. We will be disappointed by life’s circumstances, by our family and our friends. We will even be disappointed in what we perceive that God has not done for us. When we don’t deal with disappointment it can steal our passion. However, disappointment doesn’t have to be a wedge between us and God. It can be an invitation into intimacy. 

 Navigating disappointment is for the mature.  When a toddler can’t get what they want there is usually a meltdown followed by disconnection. In a toddler’s immaturity they don’t want to be near you if they can’t get what they want. It’s there way of saying, “You don’t feel safe to me anymore. You must not love me if you won’t give me what I want.” 

We can be like that toddler. 

When God doesn’t give us what we want we have an option to disconnect. We can separate our hearts from Him and say, “You must not love me.” Maturity invites God into our hurt. It says yes to walking through disappointment. Not skirt around it. Not to avoid it. Not to collapse on the floor and give up.  

Jesus shares a story about two types of men in Matthew 7:24-27. The first man takes care and intentionality to build his house on solid ground.  I can’t imagine it was easy work. However, when the rainy season came the house stood.  Even when there were floodwaters, even when there was wind.  The second man build his house on sand. When it was sunny the house was fine, it probably even looked strong. However, when the rain came the house could not stand. 

Knowing how to walk through disappointment with God protects us from being the man who built his house on sand.  While God can be the hardest person to admit that we are disappointed to, He is also the safest. He is the only one that can perfectly meet us where we are at, heal our hearts, and revel to us what we need to know. This process allows us to hold grief and hope together, pain and joy, sorrow and comfort. Staying connected to Papa God no matter what our circumstances are is one of the greatest gifts we can give Him. 

Read more about walking through disappointing seasons: My Psalm, Bench 37, Power of Hope